about

I've been debating people online for many years.
Decades.
(really, since the Usenet era)

I haven't always been a good debater.
I lost more than I won -- yes, I lost out *in real life* because people saw me as a jerk online.
That's no way to live.
And no way to engage.

My long sense -- from personal experience -- is that the people who have the most inclination & the most time to seek out connection online are... have less real-world engagements... perhaps because they haven't had the patience or social stamina to do so. It's ok to admit. Think about successful people you may know -- how many get sucked into fruitless online debates? There are exceptions, sure. But maybe that's you. And there shouldn't be shame in lacking the social chops. You could be happily married, have great family relations, be decent at your job, and may still not be a social master. You may mistake your weaknesses for strength.

And the consequences are terrible. Online discourse so often is led by the people who have the most time on their hands. And quite regularly drops to insults, bluster, and worse. I wish it were better.

Our goal here is not help you debate better. It's to help you engage. If you've landed it here, it's likely because someone ended an argument by pointing you here. They've decided it meaningless to engage further, and much more useful to send you here. And we're learning as well here, trying to find the best messages to connect with you.

If you want to help out, email us at help@okyouwin.org.